The Sunday School teacher was describing
how Lot 's wife looked back and turned
into a pillar of salt, when little Jason
interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once
while she was driving,' he announced
triumphantly,and she turned into a
telephone pole!'
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, 'If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny,
do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark?'
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with
just two worms.'
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been Learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother
what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well,
Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to
lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his army build a
pontoon bridge and all the people walked
across safely. Then he radioed headquarters
for reinforcements. They sent bombers to
blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what your
teacher taught you?' his Mother asked.
'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the
teacher did, you'd never believe it!'
A Sunday School teacher decided to have
her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23.
She gave the youngsters a month to learn
the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but
he just couldn't remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get
past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled
to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is
my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter
noticed that her father always paused and
bowed his head for a moment before
starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his
daughter was so observant of his
messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me
preach a good sermon.'
'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.
BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old
boy, 'So your mother says your prayers for
you each night? That's very commendable.
What does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in
bed!'
During the minister's prayer one Sunday,
there was a loud whistle from one of the
back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She
pinched him into silence and, after church, asked,
'Tommy, whatever made you do such a
thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to
teach me to whistle, and He did!'
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his
prayers every night. 'Yes, sir.' the boy
replied. 'And, do you always say them in
the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in
the daytime.'
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime
prayers, she would bless every family
member, every friend, and every animal
(current and past). For several weeks, after we
had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, 'All girls.'
This soon became part of her nightly routine,
to include this closing. My curiosity got the
best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do
you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always
finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'
Little Johnny and his family were having
Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the
food was being served. When Little Johnny
received his plate, he started eating right
away. 'Johnny! Please wait until we say our
prayer.' said his mother. 'I don't need to,' the
boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We
always say a prayer before eating at our
house.' 'That's at our house.' Johnny
explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and
she knows how to cook!'